After a breakdown over the weekend spewing out disappointment in myself, feeling lost in myself and as if my efforts to become a better person have been going no where, I remember an enlightening conversation I had two weeks ago with a new friend about all of these feelings being present in my professional life: She... Continue Reading →

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There's a difference between isolation, loneliness, and solitude. Quoting a dear friend quoting Hanna Arendt's The Origins of Totalitarianism, "one can be isolated (say, politically, from like-minded people), but not lonely...one can be "in" on all the social cliques and groups but still feel very lonely even when in the company of others. Solitude, the way... Continue Reading →

"Did it help though, talking about it with her?" My boyfriend sat on the couch with me Sunday night, asking about the 14.2 mile hike I had completed earlier that day, "I know that when we talk about it it's different because I can't fully understand where you're coming from. Was it worse or better... Continue Reading →

When I'm thinking clearly and rationally, I know that the expectations I feel are solely my own doing. No one actually expects me to be the hardest climber, the fastest hiker, the outdoorsy one, the one who doesn't mind getting dirty and pushing limits. Not that people don't think I could be those things, they... Continue Reading →

I'll take the longer, weedier back trails over the heavily trodden, more popular trails almost any day. While I'm happy to see people out enjoying nature to any capacity, as long as they are respecting it, I tend to prefer my outdoors with a side of silence and solitude. So spending this weekend observing nature... Continue Reading →

With less than a month in between, I've hiked the same trail twice (despite the thousands of options surrounding me here in Utah). Usually, this is no big deal. You go up, you go down, you enjoy it so you go back up with someone else later. Wonderful. When I lived in Southern California, the... Continue Reading →

The Night Before: Preparation and Slumber My Nalgenes are full. I have a trail snack ready. My keys are set out. Perfect. Time to get to bed early. Did I set a jacket out? Do I even need to bring a jacket? Man, I'm tired. Let's hope I can sleep soo--how long have I been... Continue Reading →

It's not completely accurate to say I have "outdoor anxiety." My anxiety isn't dependent on being outside nor are my experiences in the outdoors only steeped in anxiety. Yet, it's not completely inaccurate to say I have "outdoor anxiety" because often times my anxiety rears its head when I'm doing something outside. I stick with... Continue Reading →

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